Hanging On Tight!

I think I have been going non-stop since 7am Sat morning when my sister called me to tell me what was happening in Israel. I felt like she told me a family member had died. My heart broke open, but I had no time to concentrate on how I might be feeling, I have a whole county of college students and staff to take care of. I quickly got dressed, trying to reach out to all of our Israeli students and make sure they were ok. I have an Israeli staff person Lee who just got here 7 weeks ago. Thank goodness, everyone is safe and accounted for (right now). 

We quickly found each other and started creating posts letting students know Hillel is here for them. All I wanted to do last Sat morning was sit in synagogue and pray, enjoy Shabbat and Simchat Torah. If it wasn't for my staff inviting me for lunch, I am sure I won't have eaten a thing all day.

My Hillel is a Hillel without walls. No Hillel House on any of my three main campuses. We gathered at a staff's house to be in community. Calls, texts and emails were flying from Orange County to Israel. So far all of my family and friends are safe. No one is OK. We are all so sad, so scared.  

The past 7 days are a blur. Click here for a letter I just sent out to my OC Hillel Students, Alumni, Parents and Community Members.  Take a look at just a bit of what we have been doing on multiple campuses across OC. The span from one campus to another is 40 miles, 64 km. With traffic it can take an hour.

Many of you have reached out to me to see how I am doing, I thought this was the best way to respond. Please forgive me if I have not called you back or responded to you. My heart and head is with my staff and students as well as with Kol Israel (all of Israel). 

One of the projects I have worked on this week is to get all three of my schools to issue statements on what happened over the weekend. This one from University of California Irvine is top-notch. Chancellor Gilman is one of the foremost experts on 1st Right Amendments. You might be hearing about these letters, look and see what your school has said. Be prepared to be angry.

We held a vigil on Wed night, it was so lovely. Over 200 people came to one school, 100 to the other,  to pray for peace, pray for Israel, pray for the people who have died, pray for the people who have been kidnapped*, and pray for the innocent victims. 

The last couple of things I want to share with you all, is on college campuses there is so much opposition. There are groups that have rallied against Israel. On social media our students are bombarded with horrible images and we know this is just the beginning. Antisemitism is on the rise and once Israel fights back, it will be even worse. Why do I tell you this, two reasons, one, if I can't respond quickly to you, it's I'm holding a student's hand while they cry or putting out a fire. Also, if you are Jewish, be careful out there. If you are not Jewish and can be an ally, call us, check in on us and  call your elected officials and let them know you don't like it if they are not responding to anti Israel rhetoric. We can't do this alone. We are stronger together!

I don't want to end on this note. I want to share some happier photos of my life here in OC. 

I have a puppy Joey, he's about to be 2 years old. He keeps me laughing and smiling everyday. The students love him. We go to the dog park and have made some nice dog and people friends there.     I went to see P!nk a week ago. So much fun!!! I joined the local conservative synagogue and have started making friends there. I know it's not the same as Israel Jewish life or even Aitz Hayim, but it's what I have here. I am back in yoga and zumba. The weather is overall lovely. It's been two years and counting. I miss you all terribly, I am forever grateful for having friends and family all over this big world. Text me anytime, 847-212-3550 or my whatsapp number. I want to know what is happening with you and yours too.

My word for 5784 is connection- finding deeper connects with my family and friends, connecting inward and out. Finding connections in nature, music, prayer and literature. It's a fun word, connection. 

As always, I am sending this to you With Ahava! So much love, 

Tamy

My new friend Naomi at the P!nk Concert

My new painting, with the artist

Clever Joey Dog at Barbie Shabbat

Just in case you forgot what I look like!

PS I am trying to get this out to you before I have to leave for Shabbat. 

This is me... raw, unfiltered, not edited or proofread by anyone else 

(I already know is a mistake) 

PSS * My Pardes friend's grandmother is one of the people kidnapped and dragged to Gaza. Please pray and call your elected officials to say, we need return of these innocent people. Her Safta is 85 years old.

Dreams Do Come True

                                            

It's been an amazing handful of months. I am so happy to announce I have moved to Orange County, California to be the new Executive Director for OC Hillel. I have been dreaming about this job for the last three years, and am thrilled to be work with this population of brilliant young people. OC Hillel is a multicampus Hillel, we have students from UC Irvine, Chapman University, Cal State Fullerton, local community colleges and grad schools all coming together for fun, insightful programming. We like to say, Hillel is your Jewish home on campus. I am lucky to have three amazing staff people, board members, students and stakeholders to support my transition here in OC.

Here is what one of the students wrote about their experience at Hillel.
“What Hillel means to me is a safe, welcoming, and warm community where you can feel home. As someone who never had a chance to be a part of a big and diverse Jewish community, Hillel gave me that opportunity by introducing me to the kindest people, and connecting me with endless resources. It’s very hard to feel home when you’re an out of state student but Hillel with its openness provided a welcoming space for me from day one. For me, it is the place where I can go to express my thoughts freely and hold amazing discussions with incredible people, a resource I can reach if I need help with school, and a community of people I can just talk to if I want to talk about anything.” -Nova Sari

Take a look at our new updated website. Click Here.

Giving Tuesday (today) kicks off End of Year Giving! I would be so pleased if each of you, my dearest family and friends, would make a donation in honor of my new job. Every dollar will be matched, up to $18,000! 

Here is the link to donate. 

Thank you in advance for your ongoing love and support. 

Happy Chanukah!

With Ahava (love), 

Tamy

PS As always, please stay in touch! 

If you have friends or family in OC, I would love an introduction. I am still trying to find my people. xxoo, T

 

 

Building Connections

A friend asked me what are you passionate about these days? I answered something quickly off the top of my head answer but I kept thinking about it.  That night I woke up in the middle of the night thinking…

I’m passionate about connections. 

I’m a connector! 

I’m a networker! 

I’m a community builder! 

I have been so frustrated since returning to Chicago I can’t do any of that... well not very well. 

I am looking for new connections. I am looking for more people like me, where I am today, not where I used to be or where I hope to be, but the today me. 

Jewish single over 45.  

I need some new friends, new connections. Not to bemoan the fact, but covid has made meeting new people (as well as people I already know) so much harder.

So after realizing I needed to find people, I started doing my research. Of course Google told me everything I needed to know about Jewish Singles over 45… all dating apps. Hmmm Matchmaker Google, not exactly what I am looking for, let’s try again. Facebook to the rescue, I found a handful of Facebook groups, joined them and now what? I even wrote to the administrators of each of the groups explaining more of what I was looking for and [asking] what they were hoping to accomplish. It was close, but not a match. 

See what I did there;-)

I believe if you want something and you can’t find it, build it, create it. Tada! Introducing 

Anu Me to We: Creating connections for Jewish singles 45 to 65.

Anu in Hebrew means us/we. It is pronounced ahh new- yep, new. 

We will be creating something new. Re-imagining connection/ community during this time.

Anu will be social, educational, and of course networking.

I already roped a couple of friends into helping me create this new idea. I am hoping more of you will help me too.  Here are at least two ways you can help.

If you fit the bill… Jewish, single and between 45-65 please fill out this form.

If you know someone you think might be interested in my idea, please forward them this blog. How about your Rabbi? Please send it to them too. Or send me info and I'll reach out.

In this strange new world we are living in, Anu is giving me a bit of hope for the future. 

Until next time, 

With Ahava (love), 

Tamy

P.S. Anu is Hebrew for we, when a bunch of me’s come together we create we.

Happy New Year 5781!

Seasons are changing.
It will be fall or spring equinox depending on where you live.
And on Friday night Sept 18, 2020 it will be a new year in the Hebrew calendar…5781!

This is a wonderful time of year to reflect inward.

I thought I would share a few things that have helped me move into an introspective space. 

First, I love re-reading Alan Lew's book This Is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared: The Days of Awe as a Journey of Transformation.

Second, I think this is a cool project. I have been part of for the last handful of years.
10Q. 10 Days. 10 Questions.
Here’s what they say about their project:
Answer one question per day in your own secret online 10Q space. Make your answers serious. Silly. Salacious. However you like. It's your 10Q. When you're finished, hit the magic button and your answers get sent to the secure online 10Q vault for safekeeping. One year later, the vault will open and your answers will land back in your email inbox for private reflection. Next year the whole process begins again. And the year after that, and the year after that.
One of the best parts of 10Q, they don’t care about your religion, background or nationality. They ask the same questions every year. Each time I am both surprised and not so surprised to see what I wrote the year (and years) before.  

In the past years I have written about picking a word for the year. My words have been balance, bravery, abundance and mountain.

What is your intention for this new year? 

    What are your dreams? 

I invite you to take a minute and ask yourself...

        what are you hoping for in this new year?  

        what word pops into your head?
I think mine might be Gevurah. It has to do with strength, boundaries and justice. It is the counter balance to overflowing loving kindness. I hope you’ll click here and send me your word.

Last but not least here is a bit of music for the season.
The Maccabeats- Bashana Haba’a

Soon the day will arrive
when we will sing together,
And the distance will just disappear
And the children will smile,
In a world that’s gotten better,
So let’s bring in a healthy new year

One of my teachers Daniel Silverstein has started recording his music, kind of rap music, take a listen. What do you think?

In this new, strange time I bless you and our world with good health, strength, courage and peace. 

May 5781 be a sweet new year for us all.
שנה טובה

With Ahava (love)

Tamy

Lyrics for Bashana Haba’a
בשנה הבאה נשב על המרפסת
ונספור ציפורים נודדות.
ילדים בחופשה ישחקו תופסת
בין הבית לבין השדות.

עוד תראה, עוד תראה
כמה טוב יהיה
בשנה, בשנה הבאה.

Soon the day will arrive
when we will sing together,
And the distance will just disappear
And the children will smile,
In a world that’s gotten better,
So let’s bring in a healthy new year

Wait and see, wait and see, what a world there can be
And we know that there’s always tomorrow

עוד תראה, עוד תראה
כמה טוב יהיה
בשנה, בשנה הבאה.

בשנה הבאה נפרוש כפות ידיים
מול האור הניגר הלבן
אנפה לבנה תפרוש באור כנפיים
והשמש תזרח בתוכן.

עוד תראה, עוד תראה
כמה טוב יהיה
בשנה, בשנה הבאה.

———————————————————————————-

Lyrics translated:

In the coming year we’ll sit on our porch
And we’ll count migrating birds
Children on holiday will play tag
Between the house and the fields

Soon you’ll see, soon you’ll see
How good it will be
In the coming year

Soon the day will arrive
when we will sing together,
And the distance will just disappear
And the children will smile,
In a world that’s gotten better,
So let’s bring in a healthy new year

Wait and see, wait and see, what a world there can be
And we know that there’s always tomorrow

In the coming year we’ll spread our palms
Against the white flowing light
A white heron will spread its wings in the light
And the sun will shine in them

Soon you’ll see, soon you’ll see
How good it will be
In the coming year

Home

When you invoke the idea of home, what do you think about?

Is it your current home? The place you grew up? Or maybe even your parent’s home?

Is there a favorite smell and when you smell it you are reminded of home? 

Or is home a feeling you get when you get off the plane? Ahh… I’m home!

Is it a visual, wow that house looks a lot like the place I call my home. 

Is it a feeling of being grounded, loved, nurtured? 

Is it about family, people or memories?

 

The idea of home being where your heart is and where your feet are really speaks to me. I’ve been thinking a lot about the difference between a home and the place we live.

 

When was the last time you moved?

When I was a kid we moved a lot, all around the East Coast.  It wasn’t until I was in 5^th grade we finally lived someplace for more than two years. I was the kid who could proudly say, I’ve lived in 5 places in the first 10 years of my life. As a kid that was pretty darn cool. I have had conversations with some of you and know you had the same experience. When I came to Chicago (my mom’s hometown) for undergrad, I settled here. My mom’s family all live here. The place I came to visit as a kid. My grandparents, aunts/uncles and so many cousins all live here. All of the sudden I was home!

 

I lived here for over 30 years until two years ago when I moved to Israel. Each time I got off the plane in Israel, I felt like I was home. My shoulders lowered down into my back. My face just smiled. My whole self said…  I’m home. Take a look at this older blog post regarding my feelings of loving two homes at once.  

A month and a half ago, I came back again to Chicago, the place where I grew into a grown-up.  

This time is different. 

I am different. 

Two years ago we sold the house I used to call my home. Those memories now live in my mind, heart, and in way too many boxes that have been living in storage for the last 2 1/2 years. 

 

The song Home by Phillip Phillips has been playing in my head all week, especially these lines.

Settle down, it'll all be clear

Don't pay no mind to the demons

They fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone

'Cause I'm going to make this place your home

 

As of September 1st, I became a proud renter of a one-bedroom apartment in Evanston, Illinois. It’s really pretty and light. Hardwood floors and that old building feel. Last week the movers loaded up the contents of my storage locker and brought boxes and boxes of things to my new place. For some people opening boxes that have been in storage for a few years is like Christmas morning. The excitement, the anticipation, and the wonder of what you’re going to find in the box can be really invigorating. But not for me, I had a feeling of dread. What in the world did I pack in these boxes? Some are labeled books, those are the easy ones. A few are labeled dishes, photos or kid's art. 

But the rest… OY! I have no earthly idea. 

 

Slowly I’ve begun opening the boxes, mostly smiling with delight when I find prized items that I had forgotten I still owned. And with a bit more joy in my heart, I set about unpacking. Tonight as I sit in my living room on my new couch looking around at the beautiful flowers in the vase on the table I used to love, I can take a deep breath in and feel like I am finally home. 

 

With love (ahava), 

Tamy

 

PS

Chicagoland Moving and Storage are my heroes! Igal and Erez are also my friends.

They have kept all of my things safe in storage for over two years.

They moved me into my new home. Can’t thank them enough.

Please use them for your moving and storage needs.

 

Sad news from the Jacobs Family:

Our pretty dog Ike, loved our family, toys and going for walks. And boy did he love the snow. He kept us safe from the postman.

As his dad wrote: A glorious life lived in service of others happiness.

He took his last breath on Sat Sept 12, 2020

It’s sad. 

I’m sad.

He was a part of our family for over 16 years. 

What Would You Title This Chapter of Your Life?

How do you mark time? A journal? Old fashion calendar or on your phone, or some other way?
Have you ever looked back at your journals or calendar and thought wow my life has had more twists and turns than I thought it had. It’s so interesting to see where I started and where I am now.

I started this blog a little over two years ago as a way to share my story as I was leaving Chicago for Israel. A few of my colleagues suggested I start writing down what I was going through to potentially help others know that there was light at the end of the tunnel. Going through a hard time is just the transitional piece of moving from one chapter of our life to the next. So I started writing. In the last two years I have gained more confidence, insights about life and more readers. My mind is blown when I see how many people read my blog. (Thank you all.)

I just finished my summer classes at Pardes. I know, I am only a bit addicted to learning, even online. I want to tell you about one of my classes, taught by the amazing Gila Fine. If you ever have a chance to study with her, take it. The title of this summer’s program was Tales of Talmudic Travelers. Gila has a protocol regarding reading a Talmudic passage. I won’t share the whole thing, but the first read through is always what she calls a close reading. For example, we find the characters, setting and the scenes, as if we were staging a production. Again not to give away all of her techniques, she has us give titles to the scenes, like chapters in a book. Each time I’ve studied with Gila, I learn more about the characters, their back story and of course something about myself too. This summer was no exception, especially since all of our heroes were traveling and in transition just like me.

The other morning I woke up thinking...
Am I  done writing? Then I realized, nope I’m just at the next chapter of my life. 

 
My brain went right to thinking about all of you; I thought what do your journeys look like?
Where are you on your path?
And if you had to give your life right now a title what would you give?

I had fun brainstorming titles:
A Woman with a Plan!
Keeping My Eye on the Prize
Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now...
I am Right Where I am Supposed To Be!
Yes, Please! Ready For My Next Adventure
Is This My Life? nod to Talking Heads
Off the Beaten Path
Timing Is Always Perfect
Marching to My Own Drum
Lost in Space
Hold On Tight…It’s a Rocky Road!
On Vacation! Please Leave a Message
How did I get here?
Everything's Coming Up Roses!
I’m Where My Feet Are
Help, I’ve Fallen and Can’t Get Up!
Loving my life! 
Click here to send me your title(s)

I am always looking for the universal pieces of my life, thoughts and writings to share with you. I hope you will continue to write me notes about your lives. I really do enjoy reading them, and will try my best to respond.
Until next time,
With Ahava, 

Tamy

withahava@gmail.com

My bags are packed...

Hi, a quick check-in note today,

My bags are packed and I am almost ready to go.
I am a few hours away from getting on a plane to fly back to Chicago, almost two years to the day since I left my hometown. WOW!

Two and a half years ago I came to visit friends in Israel.  It ended up being a life-changing trip, to say the least. Take a look at my very first blog post if you want to know more. Click Here

So many things happened that trip.

One was meeting an artist at Carmel Market named Orna Barel.
Chating with Orna as she wrapped up my gifts, she looks at me and says, can I give you a blessing? How can you say no to that?

So there I was standing with hundreds of people walking by as they were getting ready for Shabbat with her hands on my head, receiving a blessing.
Holy Cow Batman!
It was super powerful. She said things about me that only I know or knew I needed to hear. One of the things she said was… Tamy, most people look at a desert and see nothing. Vast emptiness, sand, rocks, and earth. But really there is lots of life in a desert. Seeds will be planted and new life grows. 

Each time I am in Tel Aviv I go to see her. As soon as I walk up she smiles the biggest smile and says Tamy you are here! We are always so happy to see each other. She remembers my name and my story. We are kindred spirits. There is a bond I can’t explain.

Last week was no exception, even with our masks on; we were beaming as we spoke to each other.  
I told her it was time for me to go back to the States for now. I think I am supposed to help make connections between Israel and the US. One of my tasks is to share my love for this country with my other home country.

As I hope you can imagine, she channeled another blessing for me. This time helping me see how much I have grown, healed, and changed in these past two years. So true, b’emet!
I had goosebumps the whole time.

As I retold this story to my friend Michelle, ironically sitting in the exact same cafe I sat with my friend, Iris years before, Michelle said, that little caucus flower you just bought, that is you! You have bloomed into a beautiful new flower. 

Hopefully, my travel plans will work out. I am looking forward to seeing my sons, family, and friends. 
Looking for a new job and ready for the next chapter of my life. 
I will be in self-imposed isolation for two weeks 
(July 14-28) in Evanston, IL. 
My American phone number will be back on 847.212.3550. WhatsApp should still work too.

I am so in love with this song. Hope you will take a listen. Aliyah by Laeli
Here a few of my favorite lines:
I get to thinking about the time I’ve spent. 
Memories made. 
Where they went. 
A painted picture of the life I’ve known ten thousand miles from home.
I am a stranger in the land I’ve known ten thousand miles from home.
My heart is calling for Jerusalem, ten thousand miles from home.
Come find your way back home.

So dear family and friends in my best 
Arnold Schwarzenegger voice:
I’ll be back!
I know my time here in Jerusalem and Israel is not over yet, just changing.

Blessing you all with love,
Until next time, 
Tamy

Little last prayer tonight at the Kotel