It's been two years, since I have written my blog. The last time was right after 10.7
It's 18 months since I was in Israel. My last trip was sponsored by Hillel International, we were asked to write our reflections. This is the first time I am sharing my words publicly.
Trigger warning, this is a hard, long piece to read. Once I was ready to write, these are the words that poured out of my heart onto paper.
As always,
with ahava (love),
Tamy
My version of the stories I collected March 10-17, 2024
Tamy Cohen
March 24, 2024
one
We came to volunteer.
To help collect… not oranges, olives or strawberries, but stories. Our baskets overflow with the stories of the people.
Now, what do I do with the stories? The nightmares. The stories that have intermingled with my own.
How can I make sense of the horrors of that day and in the days to come?
We went there to bear witness, to become story bearers.
Witness = WithNess.
two
They called out and no one responded.
They called out and no one came.
We called out and no one responded.
We’re still calling, and no one is coming.
Where are the helpers?
Mr. Rogers always said look for the helpers.
Where were they?
What happened to them?
Now we know they were killed first – the army base bombed- soldiers killed and kidnapped.
The police station with all the police bombed – gone.
No telephone machine that says:
sorry we’ve been killed we can’t help you today.
Where was the government?
Where was the security?
Why didn’t they come?
No one knows for sure.
They were scared. They sheltered in place(s) that ended up not to be safe. Who knew?
They hid in safe rooms, but they were not as safe enough for what was happening on the other side of the door.
“The others” – the terrorist – the people who committed such evil and cruelty, didn’t care who you were. They did it almost for sport. They killed and injured everyone they could find they didn’t care if you were Jewish, young, old.
They didn’t care if you were
Muslim
Arab
Palestinian
Christian
Thai
They didn’t care about humanity.
How did this happen?
How did this happen?
They called out and someone heard!
the neighbors
the dads and the moms
the friends
the bus drivers
the people on October 6 who were on the other side of the political table.
They called out, and WhatsApp answered!!
Where are you?
I am here.
Where is my brother?
He is here with us.
My mother is about to faint. What do I do?
Tell her we’re all gonna be OK.
She’s going to be OK.
It’s gonna be OK.
What’s wrong with Ima?*
It’s OK she has a headache.
She’s sleeping.
We have to be quiet.
Shhh…Be good girls be quiet.
Don’t, worry my friends I speak Arabic they won’t hurt me *
“Run for your life – people are going to be injured and I can help them. Don’t worry about me. I speak Arabic. They won’t hurt me. We need medics.”*
I’m here to help you.
We need guns!
I’m on my way.
I’m throwing you in my car, I’ll get you to the hospital.
I’ll come to you.
I’ll help you.
They’re banging on our door.
Shh… Be quiet – don’t move.
He’s in a wheelchair and has to go to the bathroom, he’s too heavy for us to carry alone.
Don’t worry, I’m here to help you.
mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, children, babies, grandchildren, grandparents, all taken away.
why?
They kept calling out- for hours
for days
some are still calling out.
Find me!
Help me!
I’m scared!
Where are you?
Where are the helpers?
Why is this happening to me?
I’m so scared!
When will this end?
How did this happen?
We thought we were safe.
We thought we had a strong army and knew what was happening over there.
We thought our children could go to a concert in the forest and be safe.
We thought we knew Hamas.
We were wrong!
We thought we were invincible!
We were wrong!
We were thought we were a country divided.
We were wrong!
They called out…
and the people came.
They needed socks- people brought as many socks as they could find.
They needed food-so many homecooked meals were delivered.
They needed a place to live-come to my house was the answer across the country.
The north is being bombed – come here to the middle.
The south is a disaster area – come here to the middle.
We will take care of you.
We will keep you safe.
We will help you heal.
They called out –
the number of people who died that day and, in the days, to come needed to be buried.
We don’t have enough people to dig graves.
Don’t worry we’re here with shovels to help.
They were called in – reservist, meluim.
They came, more people than anyone could ever imagine.
They came.
No questions asked.
They came even if they were too old to fight.
We are here – we will not let this be the end of us.
They called out.
What about my fields?
My olive trees, my avocados, my strawberries my oranges?
We are here to help! They lined up, there to help.
three
Here in America, we called out to each other – I’m scared, I don’t know what to do. We need to help each other. We called the people we stood beside for all these years the people we marched with in rallies for peace, for equality, for black lives, lgbtq and more.
We called out
we are in pain we need your help!
There was no answer.
Why what happened? Are we really disgusting Jews of old? Are we vermin? Scum of the Earth? The other? We must be! Where were you? We needed you and you didn’t come. You didn’t answer us. You didn’t check on us.
four
They called out, and the people all over Israel, and other Jews came.
We all cried out, and the world was silent.
“There’s always a princess and a dragon.”
How is it that we were minding our own business on October 7, celebrating one of our most joyous holidays ready for the new year 5784.
And somehow the bad guys – the bogeyman
people who have so much rage in anger that they could joyfully rape, kill, torture, and kidnap.
Those people are now the princess, and we are the dragon. It’s not right.
five
Breathe – breathe into all I have written.
Breathe into the fear and the courage.
Breathe into the known, and unknown and known again.
Breathe into the pain and the fear.
Breathe into the stories of bravery and resistance/resilience.
The story is not over yet by a longshot –
We will be Stronger!
We have come together!
We will fight for our hostages!
BRING THEM HOME NOW!
six
I went to Israel with three main questions:
is this the time to bring students here?
If so, where is here? And who should be staffing these trips?
I think all Jewish people should go to our homeland and Witness- WithNess – listen to the people.
Feel their sorrow and fear.
Hear for yourselves their stories of bravery beyond bravery.
Hear their stories of resilience.
We need to go to Israel now more than ever before.
We need to know without Israel. Where will we go?
We need to support Israel even if it means we don’t always agree with what is happening over there. They don’t either.
We need to support our young people. They are relying on social media for their information. It’s misinformation. We need to have them listen to experts on all sides- tell their stories.
Our Jewish students who are feeling the pain and fear of the anti-Israel rhetoric. AntiZionism does equal Antisemitism
So today, a week of thinking about the questions I asked at the beginning, my answers are, yes, we need to send our students to Israel. Yes, they do need to go to the middle, not the north or south. They need to hear the stories and listen to the educators. I also come away with the realization that the Hillel Senior staff, the more mature staff, the staff who can really hold the stories of Israel and our students need to staff the trips this summer, giving our Junior staff time to learn how to handle hard situations like this.**
I’m still without words to explain how this trip was for me even after writing 11 pages. How can I make sense of all of this?
How do I help you make sense of all of this? I still don’t know the answers.
Tamy Cohen
March 24, 2024
Special Thank You:
Rabbi Ben Berger, Rabbi Melissa Simon, Adam Lehman, Hillel International and OC Hillel for giving me the gift of this trip
Rabbi David Ingber for the term/idea witness = withness
Journalist, Matti Friedman for the idea every good story needs a princess and a dragon
Dr. Micah Goodman for your words about the shock people experienced
Shira Bosa, the best guide I’ve ever met, for your honesty and being with us, full self
*These are accounts from people who were killed that day, some sacrificing their own lives, so many others could live.
Everything in italic are direct quotes from the people I talked to.
**As of 2023, we have had over a dozen students go to Israel. We have 20 students planning on going to Birthright winter 2025 and more summer 2026.
Powerful Photos From My Trip
