With Ahava (love)

Do you ever think about how your environment

shapes your life?

A couple weeks ago as I was walking to Shabbat services, I started thinking about how often I walk and about how often I go to services. Since I’ve been here, both have become an integral part of my life. I walk everywhere. Not for pleasure necessarily but mostly to get where I need to go. My prayer life had been more spiritual, internal, personal not dependent on a building or set prayers, as I walked, I realized that too has changed.

I was struck by the idea of how much our environment shapes us. How often have you thought about how your environment affects your life?

Think about it.

What are the norms around you, that shape how you live and act?

Moving halfway around the world to create a new life for me has exposed me to start thinking about that question.

How does my environment shape my life?

In one of my classes we just finished studying the story of Ruth.

She leaves her home and community to follow her mother-in-law, Naomi after their husbands have died. She is a stranger in a strange new place. Ruth is lucky, she has her mother-in-law Naomi to help guide her, to teach her the ways of her new homeland. She takes on the traditions and norms of the people who surround her.

In my Chumash/Bible class, we are studying Exodus/Shemot for this whole year. A deep dive in. It’s taken us weeks just to get to chapter 2 when Moshe is running away from Egypt and ends up in Midian. There he meets his future wife and her family. When Tzipora tells her father about him she describes him as an Egyptian man (Ex 2:19).

We spent time thinking about why they thought he was in an Egyptian man, not a Hebrew. I’m assuming his clothing, mannerisms and maybe even speech gave him away. By the time he leaves Midian to go back to Egypt (and fight the good fight), he’s lived in this new place long enough to be thought of as a Midianite.

Quick bonus note, he names his son Gershom meaning I too was a stranger in a strange land.

I’m always looking for the connection of what I’m studying to how it shows up in my life. I am usually in awe of the coincidences.

In my last 15 months, I too have been the stranger in a new strange land. I have shed parts of my old self to fit into my new reality. I have taken on new practices that are shaped by my new environment.

From my experience, at first, you are an observer of these new ways. Weighing out what you are used to vs what could be.

Wondering which of these new actions or attitudes might become a new part of you. Over time, I’ve watched myself and others assimilate to our surroundings. Taking on new habits, letting go of others. Letting new ideas and experiences expand our thinking, even in ways we could have never ever imagined.

When I write this blog, I try to be as careful as possible to both share my own experiences with you, at the same time balancing what I perceive to be universal thoughts, truths and feelings. Holding that in mind, this is a glimpse into my life here:

Fridays in Jerusalem are like a beehive of activity from the moment you wake up, you can feel the hum of energy surrounding you. It’s all about getting ready for Shabbat.

It’s about going to the grocery store, hoping you remember to get everything on your list because in a few hours the stores will be closed and you’ll be out of luck.

It’s about cooking and setting the table. It’s about making sure everyone has a place to go, a meal or two.

It’s a count down of time.

For me, it’s sending my Shabbat Shalom messages/blessings out to my family and friends. It’s my time to slow down and think about all of you… individually. As strange as it sounds it’s really what I do, like a meditation.

In the last few hours before Shabbat, I have just enough time to talk to my sister Holly, take a shower, finish up making one more thing for dinner all before taking a deep breath, turning off my phone and being present to light Shabbos candles.

Then I slowly walk to Shul, reflecting back on my week. What were the high points? Smiling, holding on to those feelings. What were the challenges? Actively reminding myself to let go of those feelings.

My synagogue of choice is one with so much music and joy. As I walk in I am engulfed into the warmth of song. It makes me so happy. Sometimes I think my life is like I’m a kid again at camp. Just pure joy!

And then comes the meals, the food, the conversations, the songs, and the insights from my friends.

I have 25 hours with no electronics. No real distractions. Just me and my thoughts.

At first, it was hard, what if the kids needed me? What if something happens, how will I know? So many what-ifs. But as I leaned into the discomfort, I found quiet, peace. I found being with others makes the day fly by in the most delightful, unexpected ways.

I also find I have time to just look around at nature. I’ve seen butterflies, colorful parrots and one night a bat flying around my head.

There is a yoga meditation: No place to go, nothing to do, just be. That is how I live Friday night until Saturday night.

I have to say it’s bliss.

Praying at the Cave of the Patriarchs

Tomorrow I’ll get on a plane to fly home to Chicago. Back to my family and friends who have known me for most of my life. Back to another environment that has shaped my life. Back to a life, I used to know and love. But I’ve changed and they have changed. We will spend some of the time catching up and talking until we find the balance again in our relationship.

I had written fly back “home” with quotes, but then removed them because I believe with all my heart we can have more than one home. I am home here in Jerusalem. I feel grounded and can breathe. I’m making friends and connections. I am finding my way in this new land, gr8ful for my guides and teachers.

Chicago will always be my home, a place where my children and family live. Where my memories live. A place where I don’t have to introduce myself to you, you already know me. At least part of me.

This week's Parsha (bible story) is called the life of Sarah, but then relates the story of her death and burial. Some think the Parsha is really called the lives of Sarah. Each of us live many lives in this lifetime. I bless you with taking the time to think about how many lives you have already had and how or what you want the next part of your story to be. Always willing to hear what you are thinking about.

Sent with so much love,

Happy Thanksgiving!

xxoo,

Tamy

I am forever gr8ful for all of you who read all the way to the end, thank you.